Lordi - Get Heavy (2002)

SoriM here (a.k.a Pissed Gamer), and I just took over Metalhead’s (not so) Daily. *evil laugh*. No, just kidding, I am the second author, Metalhead barely afforded me. Consider me second in command here.My English may not be perfect, but I’m still able to review stüff and people comprehend me; so if you do not understand surely can’t be my fault. Also, I thought it was a cool I idea to write here, but then I realized I am not experienced enough in meal music to even dare to review an album. But since I’m already in, I’m going to try. Here goes nothing!:

I am not surprised you didn’t heard about Lordi so far. Funny thing, I first found out about Lordi in this video. Not a very nice way to get to know about a band, but for me it was enough to get me curious. Lordi is a Finnish hard rock band, which was formed in 1996 by the band's lead singer, songwriter and costume-designer, Mr. Lordi. The band is known for wearing monster masks and using pyrotechnics during concerts. (Thanks, Wikileaks Wikipedia!)

This album here is actually their first album. It consists of the first songs that I listened from them. So, let me review each piece of the album.

"Scarctic Circle Gathering" – 1:02 (Ambient) – Now, I can’t say too much about this one, it’s an intro, so it don’t have lyrics. But the way it sounds, makes you think about that scary but yet awesome stüff (I love using this word) is about to happen. A very good way to debut. The album introduction it sounds like it’s promising awesomeness, let’s see if the album give us what it’s promising in it’s intro.

"Get Heavy" – 3:01 – Oh, already the song that gives the name of the album? It doesn’t have a long intro, it looks like Lordi likes to get straight to business. For me the lyrics sounds like getting into business, blowing the doors off, a beginning for good times , kewl stüff (it’s not only the word, but the actual Norwich language that attracts me) about to happen. Coming to think about it, it’s the debut song, of course it freaking sounds like this! Nothing really special about this piece, they tell us to “get heavy”.

"Devil Is a Loser" – 3:29 – Now, this one is really kick-ass stüff (and of course, are also the Norwich chicks that attracts me, to be honest). Just listen to this song and you will feel like kicking asses. You have to have guts to say “Devil is a loser, he’s my bitch!”. From what I understood from reading the lyrics, it’s about dealing with the devil, and owning him. This song in particular I like it, it’s the reason I choose this album to review it. It’s one of the most popular Lordi’s song.

So far, the album followed a continuing line. First, the intro that makes you think “ohhhh, it’s ON now!!”, then the song of blowing down doors and entering awesomeness, where you kick a butt, and not only butt, but the Devil’s himself butt! I wonder what’s next?

"Rock the Hell Outta You" – 3:06 – You know the sensation, when a music fills your vines, you turn the speakers loud and…well, the song rocks the hell outta you? Yeah, for me this is the feeling this song gives to me. I am not telling you that this song is the be(a)st, it just, well, continues the Line of Awesomeness I told you about it a few line up. A thing that I must mention, is that like in many other songs of their, the re is a part, somewhere after the half, when the voice gets more deep, kind of evil casting if you think. That part expresses even more awesome juice.

"Would You Love a Monsterman?" – 3:02 – I’ll be hones with you, I love the song. I have hummed this chorus unintentional a few times, surprising myself. This one is another piece that people may know Lordi for it. Talking of the humming stuff (yeah!), the first thing I can say about this album piece is the fact that is catchy. Very! It says “Would you love a monsterman? Could you understand the beauty of the beast?”. Somehow makes me think about “ Beauty and the Beast”. Now, my philosophy is not advanced enough to talk about the meaning of the lyrics, but I can tell about those that its refers to loving someone despite the fact that is not, well, attractive. What I also observed about this song is that it is clear. You know that many times you can’t understand all they say in the song, mostly in rock. That’s why there are the lyrics and misheard lyrics videos of the song on YouTube. Not sure, but Would You Love A Monsterman sounds clearer to me. It’s crystal clear. The crystal of this album, because it is the best song of the album, besides Devil Is A loser. Also keep in mind that the band members look like monsters. Monstermen.

"Icon of Dominance" – 4:35 – I see that the fans are really appreciating this one, but I myself don’t like it that much. It’s a little different than the most of the song. I usually love when a band does a song that is more different, more beautiful, special (for example Rammstein’s Ohne Dich). But this time, no. It kind of irritates me how the musicality slows down. It’s just not done right.

"Not the Nicest Guy" – 3:13 – The lyrics are cool enough. It casts the idea of having a stranglehold on someone. Automatically, I compared in my mind this with Sad But True (Metallica) and Puritania (Dimmu Borgir) because of the meaning of being bad with someone. No, they don’t resemble that much, but this is how my mind works. Maybe it is actually rude from me to compare this with such masterpieces. Maybe because it’s not good enough. Perhaps this song is not the nicest one. At all.

"Hellbender Turbulence" – 2:46 – If being a little short isn’t bad enough, find out that I don’t like the song at all. I couldn’t extract nothing from the meaning juice of the lyrics, and the musicality doesn’t sound any good either. Consider it not bad, but somewhere between bad and average.

8 tracks already and I needed a break, to listen something I love. The line of Awesome that the album appeared to throw up became a curve. Listening to the last 3 tracks gave me headaches. Maybe I am also tired, but this really disappoints me, I thought the album was serious in building a straight line of awesome stüff.

"Biomechanic Man" – 3:22 – This can be something that a lot of audiophiles may appreciate. The deeper voice part sounds like a biomechanic monster talking, and at the beginning and at the end they made sounds specifically for a biomechanic thing. Overall the song pumps you up with adrenaline, the musicality demands your head to bang. It’s more better than it’s the last 2 or 3.

"Last Kiss Goodbye" – 3:07 – First thing you notice in this song is that the voice is a little different, a tone not bad-ass but the same awesome. I like also the sounds from the introduction. As for the lyrics, they sound like a love song; the first song that came in my mind to compare this with it is Vermillion, Vermillion Part 2 from Slipknot. Don’t think about the meaning, they are different, I am referring at the idea of love, making a song that is a little special. This piece is cool too.

"Dynamite Tonite" – 3:13 – It starts epic. The lyrics are expressing bad-assery, making a cold woman to melt. Of course, it reminded me of the song called “Bad to the bone” (when I am doing a review, the song/movie/game reminds of others, I hope I am not ruining it this way). I really like this piece, I think I am going to listen to it in the future, maybe I will even add it to some of my playlists. The musicality is great, audiophiles reading this shall try the song.

"Monster Monster" – 3:23 – Can’t say I like this one. Maybe my ear is not trained for this style. The first half-minute is epic, love it, but then I was disappointed by sounds that my ear doesn’t approve that much. But I can’t criticize this song, it’s well done, I admit. It’s an average one, not very good, not bad either. But I am sure the Lordi listeners love this one a lot.

"13" – 1:06 (Ambient) – What a coincidence, it’s also the 13^th track! Maybe they went out of ideas and just called it “thirteen” ? No, I think it’s because of the evil meaning of the number 13. This ambient is creepy stuff, you can hear some cries in it, and at the end it sounds like a man trapped inside somewhere, beating at the door. It is awesome when some things, things like this, you only hear them, letting your brain to imagine and interpret how you want. This way of ending an album gives me the idea that the band are expressing “that’s all lads, if you liked it, ok, if you don’t, curse you; we’ll be back suckers!”. Or, dunno, you can interpret it how you want.

So the album looked like it delineate a Line of Awesomeness, that curves down at the middle and then straight up again, like walking and doing a few steps a bit wrong. Overall, this album has good stüff. I don’t say that some songs are bad, but are average. But this album have also some nice cream, a few songs that you can consider them Lordi’s masterpieces.

*Bonus thingy stuff: check out the video clips. They are not Rammstein video clips, but they’re good.

Now you lads don’t get too excited. I won’t be actually active here. Consider my posts only like opening the window for fresh air.